It hurts.
There. I said it. Happy?
It hurts and it sucks and it is hard.
It is always harder to fall out of love than to fall in love. Because to love someone is an emotion, an emotion that creeps. It creeps up out of nowhere and next thing you know, this person is the world to you.
But to fall out of love?
Well now, that's tough. To fall out of love is forced. A deliberate attempt to feel every emotion exactly the opposite of what you had felt before.
In your head it may seem easy, you think you've got it under control, but is your heart keeping up?
Can your heart keep up? No, it is not capable.
Our hearts yearn for love, for affirmation, for companionship, for acceptance.
Once it grabs hold of it, letting it go is way easier said than done.
Your mind works logically and, although conflicting with the pounding in your chest, you need it that way. You need the balance, the balance that keeps you from going crazy.
The balance of the mind that says you are worth so much more and the heart that says you never wanted anything more.
So you sit and listen to the soundtrack of your soul, the mix of a beating heart and the memory reels running through your head.
Trying to understand.
Ever known what it feels like to know that someone hates you, but you don't know WHY?
Ever known what it feels like to be shut out completely, to be cursed and yelled at and made into some sort of monster simply because you breathed one too many times?
I do.
You saw it coming. You called the bluff. But you didn't listen. Because then your heart was working faster than your mind.
Ever known what it was like to give it all you've got?
To try your hardest and feel everything?
Ever known what it was like to have it all taken away, without an explanation or a second chance?
I do.
Do you know what it feels like to rest your head against the wall, heart still beating, looking but seeing nothing, not thinking a single thought or feeling a single emotion, eyes welling up until the moment that tear rolls down your cheek and snaps you back to reality?
I do.
You know what that is? Love. Heartbreak. Passion. Pain.
It is every emotion wrapped into one.
And it makes you stronger. It makes you more than you thought you could be.
Every emotion that you will ever feel, the emotions you will inevitably become familiar with over the course of your life, it is all because of a beat.
A beat you can feel, others can see, and no one can understand.
Until when?
When does it end?
Not until that heart stops beating.
"Gravitation can't be held responsible for people falling in love."- Albert Einstein
